He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
