And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize