I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
