I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
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So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.