just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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