I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
