you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
