I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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