I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
