I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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