Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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