quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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