You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
