I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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