the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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