I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
this will be a night to untag.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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