I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
