I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize