i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
