I'm drive I can fine osifer
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize