So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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