I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize