So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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