Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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