OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
