I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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