Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
