I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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