sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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