i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Plan B is the new Plan A
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...