she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."