She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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