By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ok first of all what the fuck
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize