She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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