Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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