I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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