Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
