she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
