Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
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Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize