Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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