You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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