Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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