So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't think brook has ever known best
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
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you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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