its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
