"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon