dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
DO NOT LOSE IT