They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?