If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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