Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize