love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
