All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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