he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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