I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize